Styles of attachement - Bartholomew and Horowitz

Today I would like you to present you another theory about styles of attachement. I will explain you that table which can be a little bit enigmatic. It presents the styles of attachement in adults in according to Kim Bartholomew and Leonard Horowitz.

As you can see, if you think positively about yourself and about your partner or other people, you can have the secure style of attachement. So, pose you some questions. Do you feel competent, worth attention and love? Do you love yourself? Do you think that someone can love you? 

If you have this style of attachement, you support other people, you are warm and you have confidence in others.

You feel well in a close relationship, not afraid of dependence or being alone.

It is the best style of attachement. 

However, if you have positive thoughts about you, but you think negatively about other people, you have the dismissive style of attachement. You also feel competent, and worth, but also independent and self-sufficient. Other people are hardly credible for you, hostile and unjust. Or you just think so... 

When it comes to your emotions you exclude negative emotions, you minimize the significance of the painful experiences. You have also poor emotional control, you prone to impulsive behavior. You can feel an extreme discomfort in the situation of proximity, you avoid intimacy, relationships and commitment. You build superficial contacts with others, based on common issues, and not on commitment. Unfortunately, you can treat instrumentally other people.

If your thoughts about yourself are negative and thoughts about other people are positive, you have preoccupied style of attachement. Your image of yourself is inconsistent and dependent on the acceptance of others. But you idealize other people, you have the high expectations, which are the source of your disappointment. You are jealous and are afriad of separation. You want to control emotions excessively. You are extensively involved in a relationship but at the same time you have difficulties with its maintenance. You are dependent on your partner, you want intimacy, fall in love quickly and you expect exclusive attention to yourself.

If both images, of yourself and of other are negative you have the fearful style of attachement. You feel incompetent and unattractive. You perceive others like threatening, not giving support, rejecting. You have difficulty in revealing emotions.You exhibit a lack of trust in others and fear of being dependent, rejection and abandonment. You rather avoid social contacts. In relations with others you are passive and shy, you also avoid conflicts.